Just the other day I vocalized my desire to uncompromisingly love the films of Guillermo del Toro. And what happens today? It is almost officially announced that del Toro will be helming the Hobbit movies. Oh, Guillermo! Tolkien’s killed off directors of comparable quality, and aside from that, working on this garbage is nowadays the equivalent of licensed crap. Unlike Hellboy, though, Tolkien doesn’t fit your visual motif, at all.

The biggest indicator that this is artless whoring is that it’s been seen fit to split The Hobbit into two separate movies. Who thought that was a good idea? That reeks of some money-hungry executive that hadn’t even read the book, realizing that more money comes from two movies than from one.

I’m trying to think of ways to spin this that make Guillermo not look terrible. Maybe he thinks he’ll get to make his own overly indulgent personal project if he delivers the goods? That would be cool. The not-so-cool part is that at this rate, the overly indulgent personal project that is close to his heart might be a relaunch of the Inspector Gadget film franchise.